Idiots for Heroes
by Bolshevika
Summary: When a boy who takes his life for granted is sucked into the Fire Emblem realm, he finds a whole new world to explore and get used to. Will he be able to save the world, or will the idiot in him end up getting himself killed? FE9 fic, chapter 4 up!
1. Idiot turned into a Hero

**_Hello, and welcome to "Idiots for Heroes." I'm very bad at titles, but I personally thought it fit the story pretty well. This is my first story, so read and review. I hope the beginning isn't too confusing or the like. Hope you like it!_**

**_ Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Fire Emblem series of games. Except copies of the games themselves. _**

-!-O-!-

A lone white heron stood in the middle of a dark forest. She seemed to be meditating, her lips moved as if she was saying something, though nothing actually comes out of her mouth. Five symbols appear in a circle around her sitting body, and then the circle began to glow white. She began chanting in an ancient, lost language. Then suddenly the white light seemed to explode into several streams of black, red, blue, and yellow lights. These lights hit the heron, and she doubled over in pain. The circle dissapeared, and the heron sighed a sigh of pain. 

"I only hope that this man can do better then our Ike will do..." She gets up, face still scrunched in pain, then walked further into the forest, dissapearing in the blackness of the night...

-!-O-!-

"My life sucks." I sighed, rolling over on my stomach. I was lying sprawled out on my bed after another "great" day at school where getting beat up is an initiation to graduate. Appearently I have to graduate several times, or atleast it seemed that way from the amount of beatings I've taken these past two years of high school. I counted four today. It really does suck not being very popular. Or smart. Or athletic. I sighed again. Atleast I can console myself by playing a video game. 

I picked myself up and dragged myself over to the gamecube and the TV. Switching the gamecube on, I sat in my chair and loaded my saved game of Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance.

"Lets see how far I get today..." I had just started playing the game, and was only on chapter 3, but it seemed pretty easy so far. During the intro, I couldn't stop thinking. 'Man, I'd have it so easy being Ike. Having women flock to be in my harem of an army, the men in the army being cool as hell...It'd be pretty awesome.'

All of the sudden, the screen blanked out. I blinked twice, then looked at the gamecube. It was still on. I was seriously confuzzled on what was happening to my TV. I kicked the screen a few times, then tryed resetting the gamecube. Didn't work. Unplugging all the wires? Nope. Cursing wildly while kicked the TV and throwing the gamecube out the window? Probably wouldn't help, and I didn't want to try.

Then the screen started switching colors. Black, Green, Blue, Red, Yellow, too many colors to count. My body started shaking uncontrollablly as I stared into the screen, and from the outside it would probably seem like I was having a seizure. I didn't even have time to think about what was happening, when the world went black. All I could think about was, "Jeez...my life DOES suck..."

-!-O-!-

"Ike...Ike, wake up. Hey, Ike! IKE!" The voice pierced my ears. Groaning, I sat up, holding my head. I felt like a truck just hit me and I survived, only to be hit by a freaking nuke. 

After a few seconds, I became vaguely aware of my surroundings. I was in a forest. There was a lake nearby and there was something beside me. As my eyes began to focus once again, I realized I was looking at a familiar face...someone I never really thought was real.

"Ike! About time, took me forever to wake you up. Father wants you to get back to the fort, they need you for a mission! He says we''re really busy and we don't have any time to be lollygaging around!" Mist scolded, wagging her finger at what I could only deduce was me. I looked around once just to make sure. Nobody else.

I got up on my feet and shook my head to combat the grogginess. I walked past Mist to the lake and looked into the reflection. It sure looked like me...except for the blue hair, and the snazzy combat outfit. I definitly looked like Ike, from the game! This realization hit me like a ten ton truck, and I stumbled backwards slightly. I could feel Mist grab my arm to attempt to steady me. "Are you okay brother?!"

"Uh...yeah. Fine." That definitly sounded like me. Well, maybe it was a bit deeper. I took a second to assess my situation. It seemed like I was stuck in this...game? Reality? Dream? Well, whatever it was, I was stuck here. And for the time being, I can't do anything about it. It seems like people here recognize me as Ike. So I guess I'll assume the personality of him...for the time being. "Alright, sis...let's get back to the fort."

"About time!" She grinned and skipped towards the forest path back to the fort. Following closely behind, I could only think about what I had gotten myself into...

-!-O-!-

"This place is alot bigger in person..." The Fort of the Greil Mercenaries. It really was bigger in person. There were several building all in a walled off mass of land with three exits to the south, west, and east. It would be awe-inspiring, if I wasn't still reeling from the fact that I had just been sucked into a video game and am now living out the life of Ike from Fire Emblem 9. 

"Come on brother! Everyone's already in the meeting room!" Everybody? I assume that meant the rest of the mercenaries. I had a vague recollection of the first chapters of the game, and had already assumed that they have passed. I walked into the biggest building of the compound with Mist and immedietly face a rather big man whom I could only identify as Greil.

"Ike! About time, if you EVER want to become a good mercenary, you should learn to be ON TIME." He stared at me with intensity, and I just nodded. "Sorry, sir. Won't happen again."

"Better not, after the stunt you guys pulled yesterday! You're lucky we're so short handed, or else I'd have you guys on probation. Oscar, Boyd, Rhys, you're with me." Greil pointed at the respective people and they quickly left the building. An older girl with long, red hair came up to me and the rest of the non-named personel. "Shinon, Gatrie, and you, Ike. You're with me."

'With her' I could only decipher as comming with her. To combat. Then it dawned upon me...I wasn't sure if I could FIGHT. Realizing this, I could only shake in fear as we marched over to Port Talma for the mission.

-!-O-!-

We reached the port in record time. Luckily it wasn't too far. We were quickly greeted by an old geezer who I could only assume was our employer. Titania walked up and started speaking to him. Me, Shinon and Gatrie caught up rather quickly to the horse mounted leader and managed to catch the rest of the conversation. 

"So that's the pirate ship in question, correct?" She was pointing to the rather large ship in port. It was the only ship that wasn't half-built and destroyed in the port itself, so I had no clue why she was asking.

"Aye. They sailed into port a few days ago and have been causing trouble ever since. I pray that you and yoru companions can drive them away." The old grandpa looked at us with questionable eyes. I could tell he didn't think we could get the job done.

"I understand. We'll do all we can." Shinon walked up to Titania and shook his head. "Feathering sea scum is like shooting apples off a tree. Let's do the job and get out of here."

"Ho, Deputy Commander! You want standard thunder and lightning maneuvers here?" Gatrie pitched in with some strategy talk. Naturally, I had NO clue whatsoever what he was talking about. "Uh...Thunder and Lightning?"

"Yeah! I crash into 'em like thunder, and Shinon rains arrows down on 'em like Lightning!" I shook my head. Pretty simple, I supposed... Titania agreed. "Sounds good. Let's get this done."

"What should I do?" I wasn't exactly sure on my position here. "Let's hold back and let Shinon and Gatrie soften them up. Once they've whittled down the numbers, we'll all rush the ship and wipe out whatever's left. Are you all ready? Greil Mercenaries, move out!"

"Here we go!" Gatrie rushed head first into a crowd of pirates that had gathered at the base of the ship. Shinon followed closely after.

I hung back like I was told, and I was amazed, Shinon and Gatrie destroyed those pirates. Even with a disadvantage with lance versus axe, the pirates could barely touch Gatrie, let alone pierce his armor. While Gatrie did very little actual killing, Shinon's arrows more then picked up the slack. Each arrow was a killing blow for Shinon. They looked like the perfect team.

Two pirates managed to break off from the fight. One made a bee-line for me, the other to Titania. I unsheated my sword, hoping to god this swordfighting thing wasn't as hard as people said it was. The axe-fighter reached me and immedietly got the advantage of the first strike. He swung in high with his axe. Ducking under the swing, I shoved my sword into the pirates gut. Roaring in pain, he broke off from the fight, only to swing back in a downward strike. I rolled to the side, and stabbed him once again in his side. Still not dead, he began swinging wildly. Blocking the strikes like I've been doing this all my life, I quickly disarmed him of his axe and knocked him down, stabbing him once in the stomach, and then again in the heart for good measure.

I looked to my right and saw the Titana had long since dispatched her opponent, and Shinon and Gatrie had already seized the plank leading up to the ship. I looked at my sword hand. The sword and the hand were both covered in blood. I was amazed. I struck like I've been doing this my entire life, every little moment felt so easy, fluid like water. Looks like this was an advantage when it came to this reality. Well, whatever the case, I had to finish this mission. Gatrie stayed back to cover the plank, and me, Titania, and Shinon ran up to the ship to engage the pirates aboard.

Upon boarding, I found that a pink haired girl had already started fighting the pirates on the ship. She was pretty badly outnumbered, but she had a distinct advantage against the pirates. She rode a Pegasus, and used hit and run tactics. She'd strike at a pirates, then fly up to avoid a counter-attack from the pirates. Titania took some heat off of her and attacked a few of the pirates herself, and I personally finished off two before Titania and Shinon finished off the rest. The pink haired girl flew down and and smiled at us in thanks.

"Thanks! I thought I was gone for sure...Who are you guys?" Titania and Shinon had already begun to engage the pirates surrounding what looked like the boss, and I stayed behind to answer her questions. "We're mercenaries. The villagers hired us to get rid of these pirates. Let us take it from here, you can escape while the pirates are distracted."

"Oh, hey, that would be fantastic! Thanks so much! I don't know what to say." I inwardly smirked, this was a chance for me to attempt an act of coolness. "You don't have to say anything. It's all in a day's work."

"Pshaw! You're helping me out! I should show my gratitude somehow." I smirked outwardly this time. "That's...nice, but I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Just get yourself somewhere safe, please."

"Well then... I'll come talk to you about repaying my debt later. What's your name, handsome?" I blinked. That's a first, I never really thought of myself as handsome. "Um... I'm Ike. I'm with the Greil Mercenaries."

"Ike! Got it! I'm Marcia, a pegasus knight of Begnion. Don't forget me! All right, I'll be seeing you later!" She flew off over the ocean. Looking the way she left, I couldn't help but try and shut out all the "not-safe-for-work" thoughts I had in my mind when she offered to show her gratitude. Shaking my head, I turned around and ran where Titania and Shinon were just finishing off the rest of the pirates.

-!-O-!-

"We've driven off all the pirates. Your people will suffer no more indignities at their hands." I shook my head as Titania procured our reward. I could stop thinking about the good things and bad things that could happen if I didn't find a way home. Well, honestly, I wouldn't mind this life one bit. But I was worried about all the people back home...my friends and family. If I didn't get back, what would happen to them? These thoughts rushed into my mind, but it was all forced out as Titania announced that we were leaving. 

"Alright, Sorry, I was daydreaming." She smirked and nodded in acknowledgment, and Gatrie roared in complaint. "Jeez! I'm so hungry I could eat a Wyvern! Let's get back soon!"

I nodded in agreement. I was hungry as hell too. All earlier thoughts of doubt and dispair were soon replaced with thoughts on what dinner was going to be...I wondered what they ate for dinner here, anyways?


	2. How did I not see this coming?

_**Hey, welcome to the second chapter of "Idiots for Heroes", named "Why didn't I see this coming?". Honestly, how do you NOT see the things in video games coming? Oh well. Read and Review, and if you see any mistakes or have any suggestions for story ideas or to improve my writing, tell me in a review. Anyways, on to the show!**_

-!-O-!-

"Ya know, this life isn't so bad." I yawned as I rested in a tree branch. It was early morning two days after that huge dinner of what looked like roasted boar and chicken, but I really didn't question it since it tasted so friggin' good. Greil had decided to work me off my skull after the mission in Port Talma. A few boxes that needed moving, grabbing supplies at the nearest town with Boyd, it was an interesting life for sure. I hadn't actually gone on a fighting mission since Talma, but all in all I was never bored around here.

"Ike! Ike! I've got to tell you something!" I looked off to my left and spotted a tired looking Mist running towards me. Her yelling only grew louder as she neared me, and it was starting to hurt my head. When she got to a position below the tree, she took a second to compose herself before beginning again. "Whew, glad I found you Ike. Listen to this!"

"Settle down, Mist. It's **_way_** too early for you to be yelling like that. Now, what's going on?" I smirked and threw myself down to the ground. Landing on my feet, I brushed some leaves off my clothes and looked back at Mist. She continued. "Soren's back! He just arrived!"

Now, I didn't know who Soren was. I was assuming that he was another mercenary out on a trip or something, so I played along. "Really? That's odd. He wasn't supposed to return for a while yet."

"I know! I wonder what he's doing back so soon..." Bingo. My heart returned back to normal beating and decided I might as well go see him. "It's probably nothing to worry about. Tell ya what, I'll go and talk to him. Where is he?"

"In the mess hall. I think he wanted to talk to father." Good. The mess hall is the only building I knew for sure where it was. "Right. I'll go check there."

"Make sure to tell me what he's doing back so early, brother!" Mist waved and yelled at me as I walked down the path back to the Mercenary Fort. Turning around and giving her a thumbs up, I resumed my trek back to the fort.

-!-O-!-

When I got to the Mess Hall, I caught the end of a conversation between Greil and Soren. They were in agreement about something, and had decided to gather everyone to the briefing room. He left, and I took this time to talk to Soren. "Hey! What's going on around here?"

Soren turned around and nodded at me in acknowledgement. "Bad news. Something big is happening, and we need to formulate a plan. You're probably wondering why I'm back so early. Come on, let's get over to the breifing room, I'll explain everything there."

He read my mind like a book.This guy kind of scared me, but he must be pretty smart to be able to read my emotions like that. 'Oh well...might as well get over there.' I followed him into the briefing room. Everyone was already there, and Greil was waiting impatiently for me and Soren. When we sat down, he began his breifing.

"You all probably remember that Soren's been training with another mercenary group. Well, he's back now. And he has some unbelievable news." Oh boy, unbelievable news. Soren stood up and cleared his throat. "It's Crimea and Daein. They've gone to war."

Everyone else gasped, while I faked one. I remember reading about Crimea and Daein in a book I found in my spare time here, and I had asked Titania about it. She thought I was crazy for not knowing, but she filled me in nonetheless. From what I gathered, we were in Crimea, and Daein was our neighbor to the east. Daein's strength was their military might and wyvern riders, while Crimea's was scholarly knowledge and political might. If these two went to war, it wasn't hard to figure out who would win. After everyone calmed down, Greil spoke again. "That's why I've called everyone here. Soren has some more information. Go ahead, Soren."

"All right." Soren then laid out a map of the land. This is the first time I saw a map of this world, let alone one so detailed as this. I was fascinated. "Take a look at this map."

Everyone crowded around Soren and the map. "This is Melior, Crimea's capital. Our base of operations is...somewhere around here." He pointed to a spot somewhat in the western Crimea border. "Everything started three days ago. I needed to do some research, so I went to the archives of Melior's royal library. Without warning, the scream of a terrible beast-- a wyvern, perhaps-- rent the air, and the building was rocked by a tremor. I rushed outside and saw wave after wave of knights, cavalry, and wyvern riders, each clad in glistening ebon armor, black as night."

"The Daein army?" Greil pitched in. Soren nodded. "Was there any provocation?"

"Well, as you know, relations between Crimea and Daein have never been... friendly. However, the past centuries have seen only minor skirmishes, nothing that has ever approached the scale of this attack. It was brutal and without warning. Daein laid the capital to waste, I've never seen destruction on this scale before." I shook my head. This definitly was bad. I couldn't help but shake the feeling that this was part of some bigger plot that Daein was planning, like some ressurection of a dark god or something. Or maybe that was just the chili that Rolf made for lunch comming out the wrong end of my body. Honestly, I couldn't tell.

"A swift attack, devastating and brutal... A daring gambit, indeed." Titania pitched in with her own comment. "But if it succeeds, a very well-chosen one at that. Yes, the king of Daein would not hesitate to employ such treacherous tactics. What happened next?" We all looked to Soren for input.

"King Crimea's brother deployed the Crimean army to meet the attack. The king ordered his people to flee the city before the battle reached them. Fearing the worst, I also fled and made my way here." I shook my head. "So we don't know who's winning, do we?" Soren shook his head. "No, Ike, we don't...from the size of the invading army, I would doubt that the Crimean Army stood much of a chance."

Soren rolled up the map and inserted back into his pack. Titania laid her hand on her forehead and sighed. "Daein has invaded Crimea... We may be mercenaries, but this still affects us." Everyone agreed, and I set out the question of the day. "What are we going to do?" Looks like Greil agreed in my question of the day remark. "That's the question of the day. How do you see it, Titania?"

"Crimea is the closest thing our company has to a homeland. The Crimean royal family and noble houses have been generous, providing us with many lucrative jobs. From a moral standpoint, as well as a business one, it's in our best interest to help Crimea." Greil nodded, then turned to Soren. "And you, Soren? What's your input?"

"I agree on one point: we are mercenaries. We're not Crimea's private militia. No coin has crossed out palms, so I think we should stay out of it." Greil raised an eyebrow at this. "So you would have us sit and watch as Crimea is overrun?"

"I would. Daein's troops are superior in both numbers and morale. The chances of a Crimean victory are slim indeed." Titania cut in at this statement. "But Crimea is ruled by King Ramon, who is known for his wisdom. And his brother, Duke Renning, is said to possess peerless valor and courage. Daein may not find victory so easily."

"Valor and courage are for children's tales. In terms of military prowess, Daein's King Ashnard is every bit Lord Renning's equal. Victory will hinge in troop numbers and supplies, and Daein is superior in both. I think the outcome is painfully obvious." I hated to say it, but I found myself leaning towards Soren's way of thinking. I wasn't exactly a firm believer of the 'we'll win because we think we can win.' mindset. Titania slammed her fist on the table, making everyone jump slightly. "Curse you, Soren! Crimea is not doomed! If they can turn aside Daein's initial thrust and turn it into a test of endurance..."

Greil cut in between the two. "All right, that's enough. Both of you, I hear what you say. However, we must ascertain the current situation before we decide on any action. We'll send a scouting party to et a closer look at Melior. Ike, I want you in charge of this. Assemble your men and get going." I blinked. Me? In charge? Oh god, we're all doomed. "Uh..me, sir?"

"Titania will accompany you as an advisor." At this, Shinon jumped in angrily. "Commander, you must be joking! HE's just a boy, and he's had barely more than a taste of battle. What do you expect a whelp like him to accomplish?!"

"Ah, Shinon. Since you're so concerned, you can go as well." Shinon blinked. "Wait, that's not what I-"

"Let's see...who else...Gatrie, Rhys, and Soren. That should do." I decided to voice my concern here. "Father, wait, why do you want me--"

"That was an order. Get moving. No time to waste!" He slightly growled at me. I decided to drop it. "Yes, sir! Let's go, guys!" I promptly turned around towards the door and went out. Now, let's see, where was the armory again...?

-!-O-!-

The mission didn't really go as planned. We got about halfway to Melior when we stopped at what appeared to be a battlefield. While we inspected the corpses and attempted to figure out what happened, a Daein patrol decided to rear its ugly head. We tried to negotiate with them, but it only ended in a battle where I once again amazed myself because of not only my fighting, but my battle strategy. The only injuries we had was Gatrie slipping over himself and falling on Rhys after the battle was over and we were on the way home. Titania was singing praises of my great leadership skills untill Soren spotted something moving in a thicket nearby. Rhys spotted it too, so we investigated.

It turned out to be a girl. We didn't give a second thought as to why she was on a battlefield of dead soldiers, and ended up taking her back with us. We gave her a room in the fort and took some time off for some R&R. I personally was taking a nap in a tree at the southern gate when Mist's yelling voice woke me up. She did that a lot, didn't she?

"Father! Brother! It's that lady Ike rescued... She's awake!" I blinked. "Oh really? Come on, let's go see her."

It turned out that the girl was Princess Elincia of Crimea. During the entire conversation, I couldn't help but think, "Why didn't I see this comming?". She wanted to get to Gallia, which Titania explained was our southern neighboring country. Upon further investigation after the incident, I learned that Gallia was home of the Laguz, or Sub-Humans as Shinon so gracefully called them. She requested that we take her there, and were in the middle of discussing whether or not to take her up on the offer, when Greil shushed us up and told us to listen.

"...I can't hear anything." I was listening pretty hard, but I couldn't hear a thing. Shinon smacked me across the back of the head. "Idiot! That's the problem! Don't you think it's a bit odd? Complete silence, in all four directions. Not only are the animals quiet, but the bugs too. It's unnatural. Which means..."

"We're surrounded. They aren't waiting for an answer, they're going to attack and kill us anyways." I growled as this sentence left my mouth. This wasn't going to be fun. "Well then, we should give them a warm welcome. Greil Mercenaries, take defensive positions! Let's settle this right now!"

-!-O-!-

We all took up positions outside of the base. Greil took it upon himself to defend the east entrance of the base all by himself. I honsetly couldn't fathom why he would want to do that, but it was his life, I couldn't stop him. Gatrie and Shinon took the western entrance, and the rest of us were at the southern entrance. Me, Titania and Oscar took the front lines, Boyd rode along with Oscar on his horse, and Soren took up a position behind us. Rhys stayed behind to heal both Gatrie's team and mine.

The enemy was bunched up on the ramp leading up towards the entrance, which made them easy pickings for us to take out. The foot soldiers were knocked off their feet by Titania and Oscar's horses, only to be finished off by me or Boyd. Soren made short work of the mounted units, and the archers and mages were just easy pickings with the rest of the ground forces in chaos.

During the fight, a soldier had oh so gratiously given me a stab wound from a lance into my shoulder. I broke off from the fight to lick my wounds. Rubbing some of this "Vulnerary" stuff on the wound, I was amazed at how fast the wound closed up. I didn't have time to sit around, though, because after the wound completely closed, I had but a few seconds to jump to the side before a horse ran me over. Doing just so, I unsheathed my blade and faced my opponent. This was in itself a bad idea, because a faced a paladin in full body armor, including his freaking horse. A lance was pointed at me threateningly.

"I am General Dakova! You are a lucky one, you get to die by my own hand!" He charged at me again. Not only did I have to avoid the horse, but I also had to avoid the lance that he was swinging around. Not exactly an ideal situation by my book. Barely dodging another charge, the paladin turned around and promptly charged at me again. Now, I was desperate at this point, and I usually wouldn't attempt this move otherwise, but I had no choice at this point.

I timed it just right, and jumped, landing right in front of him on his horse. I knocked him once upside the head with my sword, effectivily knocking him off his horse. Jumping off myself, I quickly gained back my balance and turned around, very closely avoiding his lance. I stomped on it, breaking the frail wood it was made of. Doing a spin type move, I shoved the sword into a less armored part of his neck armor. He roared in pain, reeled back, and did a double take of his situation.

"Yes, you are bleeding. Yes, I just stabbed you in the neck. Yes, you are going to die. I'll give you some advice though...get a better weapon in the next life, eh?" The bleeding man could only gargle non-understandable words as he dropped to the ground, a cold dead corpse. Making my way back to the others, I kicked a few armored corpses for good measure, however if there was one thing I never thought I would find out in my lifetime, it was that plate armor really hurts your toes...


	3. Cute girls can be crazy too

**Hey! It's me again! I've set a schedule, I hope to get atleast two chapters out a week. This will allow me to produce quality writing while still allowing me to further the story pretty quickly. I've been speeding through these first couple of chapters (FE chapters, not story chapters) pretty quickly. Most of the story will be developed after the Gallia story arc, and when moving into the Begnion story arc the story will significantly slow down and I hope to stick lots of character development between the boat ride and the beginning of the Daein Invasion story arc. Anyways, once again, read and review! Here's chapter 3, "Cute girls can be crazy too."**

**-!-O-!-**

"Blazes, why does it have to be so blamed humid!?" Gatrie swore as we walked through the forest. After the battle, Greil ordered us to pack up our things and get the hell out of the fort. I personally couldn't tell which things were mine or someone else's, so I just brought my sword and a few of those "Vulnerary" things. Greil did question my decision to pack so light, but in this humidity, I'm glad I did. I mean, atleast I wasn't Gatrie right now. "If we weren't being chased, I'd strip off this armor here and now!"

Oh god. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts... "Gatrie, keep those things to yourself. I mean, I'm sure **_all _**of us are glad that we're being chased now." Gatrie shot me a glare that I'd be scared of if Greil wasn't his commander. Ha, take that.

"He's right though, this heat is appalling." Titania fanned herself with her hand as she said this. Personally, I think she shouldn't talk, she's on a freaking horse. But then again, I'm sure none of us would mind if she took off **_her _**armor. I wonder how old she is, anyways?

"Dense forests such as these are not made for us delicate humans. The sub-humans love 'em, though." Shinon said this with spite. "Thought they were called Laguz?"

He glared at me. "Those things don't deserve to be called their own name. They're just morphed humans that should go burn in some ditch." Greil smacked Shinon across the back of his head, and Shinon nearly did a flip. I choked on the jerky I was chewing on. Then Greil smacked my back, and I literally fell forward on my face. Ignoring the laughs I got, I just got right back up and continued walking, a bit humiliated.

Eventually we reached the end of the forest, which lead into a clearing with a river running straight through it. For some reason there was a fence running atleast a few miles across on the other side of the river, and the bridges leading across the river were heavily guarded. Greil said we had to get across that river, and I could do nothing but just sigh throughout the entire plan explanation.

Greil, Shinon and Gatrie were to catch the attention of the guards at the bridge while the rest of us ran across the bridge as fast as humanly possible. Perfect plan, if not for the fact that they only got about half of the guards away from their posts. More fighting insued, but we finally crossed the river, only to fight **_more _**guards on the other side. We made short work of them, however. You have to wonder how they train their soldiers in Daein, though. If a few random mercenaries can destroy an entire garrison of soldiers, you know you have to rethink your training strategy.

-!-O-!-

Eventually…

"I don't know how, but we made it." We were all breathing heavy from the fight to get across the river. We all knew taking a break wouldn't help us at all with the chasing going on, but we couldn't help but attempt to catch our breaths. Mist, Elincia and Rolf came out of the forest when we gave the all clear signal. "Brother!" "My lord Ike!"

"Hey you guys. Yall all right?" They nodded their heads, and Mist sighed a sigh of relief. "Is this Gallia? We made it, didn't we? We're safe now, right? I thought I would feel different, but I don't…"

"We're relatively safe, but it's still too early to rest easy. The others haven't rejoined us yet." I blinked. He's right, Greil, Shinon and Gatrie weren't with us. I looked at the others, and they all looked like they had the same idea I did in my head. "Well, looks like this is where we part ways, Princess."

"But what do you mean?" She slightly cocked her head to the side. "We're going back to get our friends. So I want you to continue with Mist to the royal palace of Gallia."

"What!? No, Ike! I'm going to stay with you!" I shook my head. "Not gonna happen Mist. We have to do it this way so that everyone gets out of here alive. We'll catch up with you guys right away. Don't worry, have we ever broken a promise to you?"

"Well… no. All right, then. We'll go ahead." We all agreed, then, and parted ways. Mist, Rolf, and the Princess going deeper into Gallia, and the rest of us heading back to get the other three. I didn't know why, but I had this gut feeling things were going to go spiraling downhill from here….

-!-O-!-

We searched the entire forest, fighting small skirmishes along the way, but nothing too serious. We eventually decided to rest in an old fort. Soren called it Fort Meritenne, and it was pretty much ruined. The fact that the entrance caved in as soon as we entered the inner area of the place only further proved my point. Soren decided it couldn't be a coincidence that it caved in as soon as we got here, so we all readied our weapons and slowly explored the ruins in hopes of finding another way out.

Wasn't long before, gasp, we were ambushed by a party of Daein soldiers. We were stuck at a crossroad and they were coming from all directions. Performing a square shaped formation, we held our ground for, killing everything that got in our way. That's when it happened. It was so quick, I didn't even feel it until I was on the ground attempting to pull out the arrow that was stuck in my shoulder. Yes, I got shot.

"Agh! Holy shit, this hurts **_plenty _**more then I thought it would!" Boyd filled the hole I had left in the formation, and Rhys brought me into a nearby room to treat my wounds. "Ya know Rhys, remember a few days ago when I asked if it hurt to get shot and you said not really?" He nodded his head. "Well you're a freaking liar, it hurts like **_holy hell._**"

Rhys laughed it off and closed up my wound. The door to the room suddenly broke open, and a brigand flew into the room. We fell over and were shocked at first, but then we discovered he was dead. Looking for the source, we saw a blue-haired girl stretching at the door way. Bloody sword in hand, she smirked and waved. "Hey! You don't happen to be named Ike?"

"Uhh..yeah, but…who are you?" Sheathing her sword, she walked over to us and helped us up. "I'm Mia. A mercenary, hired by Crimea to bolster their numbers. I got careless and was captured. They were going to send me to a prison camp when Greil saved me. He told me about you guys. What are you doing here?"

"Well, fighting Daein." She blinked. "Fighting Daein? With only a few soldiers? Well that settles it!" It was my turn to blink now. "Settles what?"

"This battle! I'm coming on your side. You don't mind, do you?" I shook my head. "No, not at all. I just don't know if you'll get paid just because I let you fight." She shrugged it off and dragged me outside again. "We'll worry about the detail later! Great, so that's all taken care of! Time to fight, boss man!!"

As she dragged me off back into the fray, I couldn't help but shoot Rhys a look that just screamed 'This girl is very cute, but get her off me, I think she's crazy!' Rhys didn't look like he understood at all, though. Such a useless bastard, I had to remind myself to find a way to reduce his pay one of these days…..


	4. Stereotypes really do suck

**Hey! Sorry for the late chapter, but I promise I'll make it up somehow, sometime in the future. Like always, read and review, and please review, good or bad. I'll continue writing as long as I had atleast one reader, so keep me motivated! ;P. Anyways, here's chapter 4 of "Idiots for Heroes", entitled "Stereotypes really do suck."**

**Disclaimer: I haven't had one of these in a bit. Anyways, I don't own FE. If I did, Ike wouldn't have the crappy supports he does right now. He'd have supports with Jill, Marcia, and Nephenee! Screw Elincia and Soren! Rawr!**

-!-O-!-

"ACHOO!" I groaned. After the craziness of my being shot and Mia's arrival, we managed to push the enemy troops into a back room, only to find Greil and some crazy_(hot)_ green haired chick dueling. Shinon and Gatrie were just watching on the sidelines, and a few of her troops were watching too. When we got there, it seemed like Greil had the upper hand. As soon as it seemed like Greil would win, Petrine backed off behind her troops. All of the sudden we were ambushed, all four exits were covered. Arrows and spears pointed at us, we didn't actually have much choice except a box formation in the middle of the room. Luckily, the ambush was ambushed by a regiment of Laguz cats and tigers and Princess Elincia and Mist. It made me laugh, but Mist hit me for laughing during the whole thing. Sheesh, sucks to be comic relief sometimes.

The Daein troop seemed ready to fight to the death, but some dude in heavy black armor walked in and ordered them all out. He was scary as hell, but Greil seemed like he knew the guy. Wouldn't tell me anything, but he definitely seemed tense. Afterwards, I almost got mauled by a cat Laguz for calling them sub-humans, we got stuck in a dirty old ruined fort for the night, and I witnessed the most tear jerking sight of my life.

I was taking a nap in a tree, when I heard some fighting nearby. Deciding to check it out, I found Greil and the Heavy Black Armor Dude fighting, looked like to the death. Greil definitely didn't have the upper hand, using an axe versus a sword. When it seemed like the HBAD was about to win, he offered Greil a sword and told him to stop going easy on him. Refusing like an idiot, he continued attacking with the axe and promptly got himself stabbed. I don't know why, but my body involuntarily burst out of the bushes I was hiding in and yelled my heart out. It was like I wasn't even in control of my body anymore, and I was just a person watching a scene of intense drama in front of me. Tears ran out of my eyes, and the HBAD turned his attention on me. Losing horribly, I was only saved by a huge roar of what sounded like a tiger. After that, my body picked up Greil and started walking back to the fort. I regained control of my body a few hours later. Greil had just died in my arms. I felt my face, I was definitely crying. Escaping the tense atmosphere of the fort, I ran out into the cold and settled in a tree near the lake. I shut my eyes and decided some sleep would calm me down...oh how wrong I was.

-!-O-!-

And now we settle in the present. It was cold, I had a huge headache, and I was feeling **_very _**insecure right now. Before Greil died, he gave me, **_me_** control of the company. I couldn't imagine a worse fate for the others right now. I'm going to run the company into the ground if I even attempted to run it. I mean, I was a freaking _Airman First Class _in ROTC at my high school; I was a follower, not a leader! These next few days was definitely gonna be hell.

As I was listing the several hundred ways I could destroy the company by running it, I heard a splash of water in the lake. I looked over, and saw a girl swimming around in the water. She had long, light green hair, about the length of that crazy lady from the fort. Her skin was silky white and I spotted some blue armor, white underclothing, a lance and a shield nearby. I caught myself staring for a little bit, and this was my downfall. I didn't notice the long, green centipede crawl onto my head until it was over my eyes. Yelling, I fell off the branch I was on and landed on the ground, rolling down the hill until stopping right in front of the girl's clothes. Looking up, I saw a really shocked, and red, looking woman staring at me. I stuttered, "Uh...there's a logical explanation for this, I swear!"

"Well let's hear it then!" Several excuses popped up in my mind, along with several scenarios, most ending in lots of pain. I finally decided on one. The truth. "Alright, well, I was sleeping in that tree up there and heard you splashing around. When I woke up, I found a bunch of bugs on me and I fell out of it and rolled down here." Okay, maybe I tweaked it just a bit.

"...I guess I can forgive ya once. Now turn around, lemme get my armor back on." I complied, and she had her armor back on soon enough. I turned back around and blinked. She didn't look like any Daein soldier. In fact, now that I take a good look, she looked like a country girl. She looked like she just came upon a realization. She pointed her spear at my face." A-...Are you a Daein soldier?"

The entire spear to the face thing didn't exactly bode well with me, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea, so I kept my sword in my sheath and answer. "No! No way! I'm being chased by Daein." She stared into my eyes for a little bit, and nodded. "You dun' look like you'd lie. So we're on the same side, then?" I nodded. "Good. Name's Nephenee. I'm part of the militia that's camped out a little ways across the lake. You?"

"Ike. A member-...well, I guess now its Commander of Greil's Mercenaries." She blinked. "Commander? Ike? Why's it called the Greil's Mercenaries when your names Ike?"

"Actually, Greil was my father. He just...died, a few hours ago. I came here because I couldn't handle it, to be honest. He put me in charge before he died, and I just don't think that was a good idea on his part." She let out a small gasp. "Oh...I'm sorry.."

I shook my head. "Don't be. I should be sorry for interrupting your bath."

"Aww, dun' worry 'bout that! All I needed was a dip and some water in my hair, I'm not a gal to take long baths with those fancy aloes and stuff." She smiled at me. "Well, listen, you can't be as bad as a leader as the idjit in charge of the militia. Besides, if you're father was the leader of the mercenaries before, you're sure ta have inherited some of his leading skills! I'm sure you'll lead that company fine! Hell, I wish I was in your company instead of this crappy militia unit."

I laughed. "Well, that's comforting. At least one person would rather be in my command. Several people of the company showed some real discomfort at my leading skills." She smirked. "Well, that's an easy situation! Just whip 'em inta shape, I'm sure they'll come around. Lead a few battles the right way, and they'll be begging ta stay in the company!"

"Thanks for the advice." She nodded. "Well, ya seem like an honest person. And you sorta got this...weird aura 'bout ya. It's comforting. Normally I wouldn't be so open to a city boy."

"Hey, I'm no city boy. I haven't lived in a city for who knows how long. I just happened to pick up a city accent when I was living in it." She chuckled. "Heh. I wish I could stay and talk longer, but I'm sure the commander back at camp is wondering where I am. If not him, Brom'll definitely be worried. I hope I see ya again one day, Ike!"

"Yeah, same for me Nephenee. See ya later, then!" She nodded and ran off; running towards some smoke from what I could only assume was fire. I felt sorry for her; those idiots'll be found by Daein soldiers in no time flat. She was really cute though, I hope she finds a way out. She really escaped the entire "cute girls I meet will be crazy as hell" stereotype. Shrugging it off, I hiked back to the fort in high spirits, stabbing **_every_** bug I see on the way.

-!-O-!-

Shinon and Gatrie left the company when I got back. Everyone else stayed, to my relief. Wouldn't be much of a company with just me, now would it? With Titania and Soren as advisors, I was assured that I could atleast keep us going for a little while. We also made a deal with some merchants that came to the fort for shelter. They follow us around while supplying us with weapons and items, and in exchange we provide them protection. Good deal, if you asked me. The lady was a little creepy though; she was staring at me during the whole meeting...

We buried Greil and his axe at a cliff nearby. I took the sword for myself, it looked pretty nice. It was heavy so I didn't attempt to use it in battle, but I kept it in storage for the time being. Eventually we were visited by some Laguz, Lethe and Mordecai. Soren and Lethe had slight skirmish, but I broke it up and was scratched pretty bad for it. They were to escort us to the capital to meet the king of Gallia. Typically, however, we ran into the remains of the Daein forces in a ruined fort along the road we were taking. My first battle in command, we handled pretty well, other then the fact that Rolf and Mist insisted that they fought in the battle. I used typical tactics; stronger guys like me and Oscar were in the front, while squishes like Soren and Rolf stuck to the back. Halfway through the fight, Rolf yelled to look to the sky, and I squinted to see what he was pointing at. A pegasus knight was flying towards us. Taking aim, Rolf waited for my command to shoot it. As it came in range, I instantly recognized the pink hair and the frilly uniform of Marcia, the Pegasus Knight I rescued back on my first mission. Ordering Rolf to stand down, I walked up to her with Rhys after she landed and she struck up a conversation.

"Ike! It's me, Marcia! As promised, I'm here to repay my debt!" I blinked. "How?" She smirked. "With my body!"

Before my imagination started running wild, she rephrased her sentence. "I'm going to join your group!" I snapped my fingers on the inside, but decided to keep my passions from running too wild on the outside. "Join us? I thought you were one of the holy pegasus knights of Begnion..?"

"Pfff! I resigned! So, what do you say? Are you gonna let me in or what? Come on!" I shook my head. "Are you sure about this? I mean, I'll be honest with you, you're not gonna get paid as much as you're used to, and I'm still kind of a new leader."

"So, what? Are you saying no?" I swung my head from side to side. "No! I'm simply pointing out that you'll be losing almost all of..."

"Pfff! I won't lose out on anything! Come on, I'll show you, I'll work twice as hard as anyone else!" She grabbed me by my arm and swung me onto her Pegasus. "I'll definitely show you! Let's go, we're attacking from the air!"

As this event went on and we flew off, I could only stare at Rhys as he let this entire thing happen. I swear to whatever god was up there in heaven, I **_will _**find a way to cut his pay. I couldn't do anything but yell, "**_I SWEAR IT!!!"_**, as I flew off back into battle once again. Stereotypes seriously suck.

-!-O-!-

_Airman First Class - _**E3 pay grade in the US Air Force. Enlisted service. This is my actual rank in JROTC; I really do suck at leading. ;; **


End file.
